this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
