We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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