you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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