we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
