Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
