these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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