It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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