when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
