i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
