I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Randomize
