I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
