We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
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