so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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