5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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