YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize
