Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
