He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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