Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Randomize