I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
what day is it and did you see me today?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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