Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
