I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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