you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
