Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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