Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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