On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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