me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
