OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
