I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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