She just used a chaser for red wine.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
