Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Randomize
