and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
