so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I'm at about main and main street
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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