He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
