she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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