Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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