I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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