even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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