i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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