I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
