I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
