I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
