so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I feel like death gave me a hand job
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
