wakey wakey hands off snakey
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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