I'm gonna have a badass scar
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize
