my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
