Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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