you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
