worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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