I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Well I just put wine in my tea
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
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