I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
