not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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