I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
honey bunches of taint.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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