she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
