Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize