Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
