THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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