So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
